Hello my loves!
I hope you’re all doing great.
Since my Instagram page is public and since I attend festivals very often, I’ve received comments by many types of men as well. I’ve met kind ones (that’s less likely to happen) and I’ve also met rude and cursory ones.
I’ve noticed some common things in today’s men who try to flirt and I decided to make a post and talk about how people used to flirt back in time!
No, it’s not just men’s fault that nowadays romantic relationships have disappeared. Women make a lot of mistakes as well. But I’m going to talk about situations when I didn’t even know those people, so I didn’t do something that could cause that kind of behavior.
1. Approaching a lady
The first thing that makes me understand whether I can truly hang out with someone or not is when I receive a message on my social media saying “Hey, I saw you there but I couldn’t come and talk to you in person so I decided to text you.” Biggest mistake EVER!
Technology nowadays has unfortunately been a very influential factor as far as relationships are concerned and it’s totally understandable when people don’t have the courage to talk to someone face to face (I’ve made that mistake in the past). But that simply ruins both romance and mystery in any kind of relationship.
A lot of people wait till their lover texts them first but don’t realize that texting them and asking them out for a coffee would truly prove if they like them! I know. It’s not easy at all! I get it and I’ve been through it too. But your lovers are humans just like you! Don’t be so scared around them.
People in the past didn’t have Facebook or Instagram to find their lover. They had to find a way to talk to them as soon as possible and introduce themselves! That way they could also see the reaction of the other person and it’d bring them closer immediately!
If you don’t know how to approach a lady, you can also read The Young Gentleman’s Guide. I’m sure Max Winters has very good tips on that! But let me tell you that you can also do some very simple movements, like ask the person you like what time it is, tell them they remind you of someone or even compliment them carefully about something they wear (an accessory, a dress and so on)! It’s exactly the same for women!
Manners, manners, manners. A word that so many people have forgotten nowadays! It’s something that you should always have in mind even if you’re talking to someone through Facebook.
I have received many inappropriate messages throughout the years from simply strangers. I recently received a message by a man, asking me if I like sex. Those who know me and also follow my Instagram page, know that I don’t have seductive content and despite that, people still send such messages. Even if a lady has more sensual photos, you still need to be kind. No. The “if they share hot photos they don’t care being called names” kind of comment is invalid! No matter what a lady wants, you still have to be careful and kind to strangers (this is for women too)!
Most of the people in the past (until the late 60s) used to be very polite with everyone. If you have watched old movies from those decades you have probably seen that men and women were using plural to flirt or simply talk to strangers. No, I’m not saying you have to use plural (even though I personally find it very old fashioned=amazing) but calling somebody a lady/sir while keeping a distance is always good. Don’t just say something dirty to a woman (or man). That’s not flirt. That’s a “I like you and I want to sleep with you” thing. Don’t make it so obvious and use your mind to surprise the person you’re talking to!
3. Patience is the key!
Patience is the key to many situations as well as in flirting too.
I recently received a message by someone who’s in the vintage scene and seemed to be a good guy. Even though he indeed was a nice guy, he started telling me he likes me and wants to have a relationship with me from day two! So, you’ve talked to me for like an hour through messages but you’ve already realized you want me to be your girlfriend.
I know. That’s how most of young people act nowadays. They fall in love too easily with people they know nothing about. But loves, when you express these kind of feelings to someone you don’t even know, be careful because their reaction might be negative even if they liked you at first.
I’ll say again that people in the past didn’t have Facebook to see what their lover likes. They had to ask them in person and that would bring them closer! They couldn’t talk to each other by phone (till sometime) so they had to wait till they met again! That was making them very excited and they always had something to discuss. That is one of the reasons why relationships could last longer at that time.
They also had to send letters to each other which was something exciting! I’ve started sending letters with my friend Max and some other friends from abroad and I find it wonderful!
4. Appropriate compliments
Another important thing while flirting is the compliments! Don’t use expressions like (forgive my language here) “you have a great butt”! Instead, say something kind about their hair and outfit or so. While some ladies and gentlemen like dirty comments, I’m the complete opposite type. You’re in a vintage blog, what did you expect?
People in the past knew exactly what to say and how to say it! No, they weren’t attending seminars to be experts at flirting! They just had to think of expressions since that was the only way they could approach someone!
You don’t need to take a degree for that!
5. Don’t take it too far
Last but not least, taking your flirting too far can lead to failure.
When you meet someone new, you don’t know whether they have a relationship or not. So you don’t want to take it too far at the beginning. You first need to know if they are into a relationship and then keep on going (slowly of course). I’ve been into such situations, receiving very flirty messages while having a relationship and they are very awkward!
Of course, people back then wouldn’t take it too far since most of them had different beliefs from people today.
So that was it about flirting in the past comparing it with the present! If you want to add something, leave a comment and also if you have a question or ever had an experience you’d like to share, write a comment or contact me!
Thank you very much for reading darlings! I’ll see you on my next post!
A Vintage Athenian 💋